Helping families raise children between two homes
Rules for Co-parenting
- Do not talk negatively, or allow others to talk negatively,
about the other parent, their family and friends, or their home
in hearing range of the child. This would include belittling
remarks, ridicules, or bringing up allegations that are valid
or invalid about adult issues.
- Do not question the children about the other parent
or the activities of the other parent regarding their personal
lives. In specific terms, do not use the child to spy on the
other parent.
- Do not argue or have heated conversations between the
parents when the children are present or during exchanges
- Do not make promises to the children to try and win
them over at the expense of the other parent.
- Do communicate with the other parent and make similar
rules in reference to discipline, bedtime routines, sleeping
arrangements, and schedules. Appropriate discipline should be
exercised by mutually agreed upon adults.
- At all times, the decisions made by the parents will
be for the child's psychological, spiritual, and physical well
being and safety.
- Schedule changes will be made and confirmed
beforehand between the parents without involving the child,
in order to avoid any false hopes and cause any disappointments
or resentments toward the other parent.
- Do notify each other in a timely manner of need to
deviate from the order including canceling time with the child,
rescheduling, and promptness.
- Do not schedule activities for the child during your
child's time with their other home without the other parent's
consent. However, both parents will
work together to allow
the child to be involved in extracurricular activities.
- Do keep the other parent informed of any scholastic,
medical, psychiatric, or extracurricular activities or appointments
of the child.
- Do keep the other parent informed at all times of your
address and telephone number. If you are out of town with the
child, do provide the other parent the address and phone where
the children may be reached in case of an emergency.
- Do refer to the other parent as the child's Mother
or Father in conversation, rather than using the parent's first
or last name.
- Do not bring the child into adult issues and adult
conversations about custody, the court, or about the other party.
- Do not ask the child where he or she wants to live.
But do encourage the child to understand they have two homes.
- Do not attempt to alienate the other parent from the
child's life.
- Do not allow stepparents or others to negatively alter
or modify your relationship with the other parent.
- Do not use phrases that draw the children into your
issues, or make the children feel guilty about the time spent
with the other parent. For example, rather than saying "I miss
you!", say "I love you!".
